After I wrote last night I went down to the lake with Dan and we hung out a while. And… well, we talked about stuff. Girl stuff. Kissing and things.
Dan asked me if I’d ever kissed a girl. I wasn’t sure if she meant anything by it or not. But I told her no. Which is the truth. Then she asked me if I ever thought about it and I said sure, also the truth.
And… fuck… for a while there I thought we were gonna do it, actually kiss. Not a polite kiss either, not a relatives kiss but the real deal like I kiss Brian and like I kiss boys. My nips got real hard sitting there next to Dan and I was so wet… you know where. I’d have kissed her too. And I think she wanted to kiss me. But I couldn’t tell for sure. If only she knew what I wanted to do to her. Never mind Brian, Brian’s OK but he’s not the same as Dan, but it’s probably better we were interrupted and didn’t do anything because I’m damn sure I’d’ve been unable to control myself and that would have screwed summer for good.
Writing this now though makes me wonder if Dan isn’t just a little that way inclined. I’ve always kind of assumed lesbians were butch and looked like guys without the beards (maybe with the beards too, ha ha), but if lesbians looked like Dan I’d have turned queer years ago. She’s gorgeous. Completely, utterly, drop dead and go to heaven gorgeous, and she has absolutely no idea how beautiful she is.
I think I need to get Brian to go down on me some more, take my mind of going down on her. God, did I really write that? What am I thinking?